Those Country Melodies

You know, I'd like to send out a message to all those country song writers out there.

You might make a living belting out those words of yesterdays and long-agos, but you're just making me so depressed. I mean, really deep-down, knees-of-my-heart depressed.

I was a second wife. Second wives are little non-important atoms in the nuclear family. They usually come around when the kids are grown, or at least in their teen years, and they didn't marry the childhood sweetheart, go through the tough early years or have that happy-life fairy tale. Second wives deal with ex-wives, and they are worse than Category Five hurricanes in the emotional sense. The ex-wife has the knowledge and power to cause great damage and what's worse is they know it. Now, if they've given birth to your former husband's children, you had just better buckle up for the ride. They will be in attendance at every birthday, every holiday and every major event that links them to him, the children and their progeny. If this makes you uncomfortable as The Second Wife, just uncork a wine bottle and deal with it. You're in that mess alone.

So, none of the country songs wax and wane about the plight of The Second Wife, or at least, none of the ones on the radio stations that I listen to. The songs are all about butterfly kisses to small children who grow up and leave their daddies, men who are thankful they are married to their childhood sweethearts or about how all of their marital struggles with their one and only wife brought them to the wonderful world they live in now.

I'm going to work hard on writing a song that extols the virtues of being a Second Wife. It's about time that someone, somewhere recognized that we didn't get in to this for the sport. We met a man, fell in love and struggled to deal with his demons. And, any man who has been married In The Before You has demons. Doesn't matter if it was a mutual decision, His decision (moderately better), Her decision (recipe for constant anger) or they lady died (forever an eternal saint). There be demons. All second wives have issues and the smart ones don't let their husband know about them. Smart husbands don't let the Second Wife feel inferior to the First Wife. But, that's another story.

It'll be one of those songs that only some whip-crackin, boot-wearin', long-haired bitch of a country singer can sing. She'll have to have attitude to carry it off, and since most of the country gals have attitude, I think it'll be a big hit.

If someone can write a song about killing an old boyfriend named Earl, I'm pretty darned sure this one I'm cookin' up will be in the Top Ten.