The Dispelling of Myths: Women and Men

Myth One: Women Give A Shit About Your Hair.

We don't. We give a shit about our hair. We don't care about yours, or whether you have any or not. Now, on the other hand, we know you are always going to tell us we need to grow ours out, change the natural color, or stop using hair products. We also don't give a shit about your opinions on our hair, either. It's our hair. Get it?

Myth Two: Women Think Romance Is All That.

No we don't. You want to know why? Because the whole reason you light candles or send flowers or give us mushy cards is primarily aimed at one thing, and it ain't being romantic. It's so that you can get sex. Period. That's why, after a lifetime of romance that isn't really romance, we don't believe in it anymore. When we light candles, it's because we like the relaxing feeling, the pleasant scent and the pretty light it gives off. When we get flowers, it brightens our day and makes us smile. Mushy cards are great, but if you don't sign it, it doesn't count. And none of the three romantic gestures mean sex. 

Myth Three: All Women Love Babies.

Woman do not automatically turn into a blobbering mass of jelly when babies appear on the scene because we are female. In fact, some of us cringe a little. And women who are "nice" to babies do not always make good mamas themselves. Being a mother means self-sacrifice to the Nth degree, takes enormous amounts of patience and gnashing of teeth and requires a partner of the same dedication to raise the child in his or her best interest. And babies don't mean we like sex, either. If we've had babies, we obviously had sex to get them, but it doesn't mean we lie around on our backs like sacks of potatoes looking to have more babies.

Myth Four: Women Are Overly Emotional and Therefore Cannot Hold Positions of Great Importance.

What? What? Women have been brought up for generations to make rational decisions about everything from what wood works best in fireplaces to how to act when your child falls down the stairs and is bleeding from their nose. We balance budgets on a daily basis. And, when we have a job to do, we generally do it. What in the hell makes you think we can't act rationally during acts of war, cannot make decisions about government policy or act properly during congressional meetings? Because we have a uterus and a vagina doesn't mean we aren't solid and logical. We are not led around by our hormones, guys. 

Myth Five: Spelling is Not Important.

Oh, yes it is. To women, anyway.