The Wearing of Flip-Flops

So much has been written about the lifestyle associated with being able to trot around all day in flip-flops that I even hesitate to add my two cents for fear the true intent of my blog on this subject will go unnoticed and worse, misunderstood.

Let me preface by saying that I was always a die-hard sneaker-wearer in my youth. Reebox only, never Nikes and heaven forbid any of the Wal-Mart specials. I had black Reebox, white Reebox, red Reebox (during the Sheena Easton years) and I could not be swayed by any temptation known to mankind to give up my sneaks. In my tweet-seven years at the newspaper office, I wore sneakers and Hawaiian shirts, much to the consternation of the Higher-Ups, who consistently and with great pomp and circumstance, wrote on my annual reviews, "Does not follow recognized business standards with regard to dress code." Every now and then I'd don a pair of dress slacks, heels and a jacket for some fancy do-dah of a wine soiree on behalf of the newspaper launching some new product but pretty much, people knew to look for the girl with the Hawaiian shirt and sneakers in the front office by the window if they needed graphics or illustrations.

When I left the newspaper to begin on the great adventure called Being A Full-Time Free-Lance Artist and Writer, I immediately cast off my sneakers and started wearing flip-flops. That same day. I fondly remember that first pair. They were $25 Reefs that I bought at a surf shack in Daytona Beach. I stuck my pale, white unpolished toes in between the toe straps and knew the freedom of the soul.

I soon discovered that there is a true art to wearing flip-flops. 

First, people notice your feet. Immediately. Like any bare, exposed flesh, people look at it right away. So, word to the wise, clean up your nasty feet. Get a pedicure and keep it up if you want to wear flip-flops on a regular basis. Do all of us flip-flop wearers a favor and keep up our "Freedom of the Foot" reputation.

Second, flip-flops are NOT the best boat shoes. If you are negotiating around a tight bow on a sailboat, dodging water puddles, lines and anchors and an occasional wine spillage, you will most definitely end up in the harbor instead of on it.

Third, treasure that "flip-flop tan." It's not as easy to get as you think. It's a badge of courage. Getting your feet sunburnt is just about as pleasant as getting the back of your knees seared by a blow-torch.

Flip-flops, like anything else, have their snob factor. If people see your flip-flops and say, "Ah, you got those at Old Navy? Hmm. Nice." it just doesn't carry like "Oh, way cool, those are TEVAS..."  And do not be deceived that those $1.99 plastic things they sell at Walgreens are really flip-flops. No, they are Human Torture Devices and you may as well buy a box of Baid-Aids while you're there cause you'll need them. I'd rather walk barefoot across three asphalt football stadium parking lots in the middle of the summer in Miami than put those things between my toe-bones.