McDonald's Discovers Chicken Bones

Call the President and issue a national alert! McDonald's now carries a line of meat product that actually contains bones.

I suppose it's a poor attempt at public outrage over the processed meat called McNuggets and the now infamous McRib. Word got out over the Internet that the McNuggets contained less than 10% real chicken and the McRib contained a witch's brew of animal organ meats, none of which was pork.

Now, and I'm sure for the "Limited Time Only" that restaurants carry new test products, McDonald's has branched out and let the public know they honestly do know where chicken meat comes from by introducing "Mighty Wings," appropriately premiering during the busy football season and priced to compete with any other chicken wing market.

Let me preface by saying I have avoided eating at this particular fast food establishment for many months, caving in only once for a double cheeseburger, and regretting that decision the entire night and most of the following morning. Tonight, I was close to ravenous for some reason, and as I did not leave work until well after nine, it was the only close alternative to a glass of coconut milk and a bowl of popcorn at home. I thought that at least ordering a box of wings would be better than another night of greasy misery in the form of a Double Quarter-Pounder with Cheese.

At first, I was amazed by the fact that they looked like chicken wings. I tore them apart and found bones. They WERE chicken wings. McDonald's was serving meat from an actual bird.

I wolfed them down (there are five to a box). The outer breading is very thick and crunchy - essentially fried chicken. Just not the best parts of the bird. Growing up, when my mom fried chicken in the big iron skillet, she never bothered with the wings. Those went to the cat, or got boiled for chicken stock.

The breading is always the best part of fried chicken. This was spicy and satisfied that primal craving for meat. Now, however, four hours later, I'm regretting yet another decision to stop at that golden-arched hellhole.

My tummy is in full turbulence mode, my mouth has an uncanny iron taste to it and I'm drinking water like a Foreign Legionnaire.

McDonald's did the math and figured they probably needed to head off the advancing hoards of truth-seekers and offer meat with real bones in it to prove they knew where chicken was supposed to come from, but I think I will forego the "Mighty Wings" as a late night snack before retiring.

Lesson (finally) learned.