I always get this way when I can't find anyone to play with.
My hubby never stays home long enough to have a conversation about anything, and we certainly don't go anywhere together, save a random dinner or two. It's not because he's unhappy or doesn't love me. It's because that is his tried and true coping mechanism for anything emotional. He runs away. Thankfully not too far away. If I were dealing with this the way he does, I'd be in Fiji.
I called my little sister, but she seemed distant, and had a date with our local pub who was holding a memorial service for a regular who bit the big one. I'm not a regular, and don't know anyone there except my sis and her hubby, so I begged off the sort-of-not-really invite.
Big sister is not answering. Can't call anyone else, because it's Sunday, and people are home with their families.
So now I'm spending Sunday afternoon catching up on blogs, adding art, doing art and watching a slightly entertaining Bill Murray flick on TV. Later, the beach and I have a date. The squirrels are out, and supremely happy that I have a bird bath with fresh water.
I hate this feeling, this feeling of being left out of everything that everyone is doing around the world.
I felt that way a lot. And I'm alone a lot. And I don't like being alone all the time.
I am blessed in so many ways, that being alone a lot just means that I can be more self-introspective. I get a lot of art done (when I'm disciplined enough to do it) and that will be good for the upcoming months. I do miss being with people and find that I'm more uncomfortable with them lately. I miss my friends. But, having worked outside the home for so many years, I understand the importance of weekends to non-homeworkers. I respect that.
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